Coffee with The Ba.Ba.s - Episode 1

Coffee with The Ba.Ba.s - Episode 1 from Sandeep Mancha on Vimeo.

Welcome to Coffee with the Ba.Ba.s with Sandy and Rukmini. In this episode we interview Hrileena Ghosh, a budding LE Ba.Ba.Enthusiast who joined us for two fabulous sessions last month. As always, Coffee with the Ba.Ba.s is sponsored by The Real Man's Drink at the one and only Cafe de Milano's, in association with Mrinalini's Banana. :)

Fulham 1 Arsenal 0

Dear readers,
Welcome to Football 101. Let us begin with a few choice phrases from last night game...

Arsenal fans in Manchester - "Football? Bloody hell!"

Arsenal fans in front of the TV - "Boooooooooooooooo!"

Fulham fans at Craven Cottage - "Who are ya? Who are ya?"

William Gallas, Arsenal's French Captain - "Omlette du frommage."

Manuel Almunia, Arsenal's Spanish Goalkeeper - "Hijo de puta!"

Hangeland, Fulham's Norwegian goalscorer - "Jeg elsker de, Frenchies! *muah!*

Arsene Wenger, Le Gaffer - "Thee playyers deed not show goood qwaleeti"

Roy Hodgeson, The Gaffer - "Ma lads deed me prowd!"


The game kicked off last night around 10pm IST and what a pathetic excuse for a game it turned out to be. Okay, so as most of you know I'm an Arsenal fan and that's because I love the club, the manager, and it stands for in the modern footballing world. Now normally when a Gooner walks away from a game after a loss, he carries with him a great feeling of injustice. It could be anything from poor refereeing decisions to dirty tactics by the opposition or just plain bad luck for the men in the red and white. However, on this occasion, this fan is not afraid to come out and say that we were shit! Pure and utter shit! Unadulterated, stinky, putrid, runny, multicoloured shit!

Researchers at the University of Llanddewi Brefi recently concluded an experiment using a bunch of baboons pumped full of laxatives, doused in itching powder and then introduced onto a giant waterbed with a football thrown in. While the results were not pretty, the animals recorded a pass completion rate comparable to Arsenal's last night. It is clear that our midfielders were the crux of our problems yesterday. The only one who had a decent-ish game was our young signing Samir 'I'm not the New Zidane! Oh yes, you are!' Nasri which basically tells the story. The whole midfield looked as though they expected a moment of brilliance from the former Marseille mani, which was asking too much of a 21year old playing in only his second Premier League game. Bleeaarrrgggghhh!

The goal we conceded came predictably from a set play. Bobby Zamora received the ball in the box and with a quick turn managed to scoot ahead of his marker, Kolo Toure. Recognising the danger in on goal, Toure was forced to hit the Nitro as he thundered ahead of Zamora with 'big explosive power', impressively hacking the ball out of play before the striker could let off a shot. The resulting corner saw the ball whipped into the 6 yard area to meet the boot of the big, lumbering Norwegian Hangeland who cannoned the ball between the clueless Almunia and Clichy.

Fulham V Arsnal

The commentator goes on about Gallas' marking, which I have to agree with having watched the replay now. However, the commentator gives a clean chit to Almunia, who they say was blocked off by the Fulham player. What a load of bollocks! Almunia is, perhaps, one of the least assertive goalkeepers playing at the highest level in football -- that is the problem. I can't imagine any one like Oliver Kahn, Mad Jens, Schmeichel, Van Der Sar, Petr Cech, Iker Casillas, or even someone as error prone as Fabian Barthez not coming out to meet the cross. Maybe there was something in the pre-match kissing ritual. Then again, even if Almunia did shave his head who would step forward to kiss it before each game? Hmmm...I don't think any of the older squad members would be too keen so I'm guessing it has to be one of the new entrants. I dare say it would have to be the man of experience - Mickaël Silvestre, the man who has seen it all during the reign of Blanc and Barthez.

On the other hand, sometimes I wonder if Manuel Almunia is our former JUDE goalkeeper in disguise? Wouldn't that be cool? Okay, they don't look much alike but there is nothing modern plastic surgery cannot fix. Picture this...by day he is plain old Prabuddha but by kickoff he is playing for one of the European Super Clubs and his hair has been dyed a ridiculous peroxide blonde. The possibilities are endless.

Anyway, having splashed most of the page with football fritter fratter I think its time we moved on to the other irrelevant things I've learnt between yesterday and today. For instance, did you know that the Japanese obtain their beef from genetically engineered Wagyu bulls on a diet of high quality fodder and crates upon crates of beer. Yes, that's right I said beer. Moreover, they are regularly massaged with sake to prevent muscle cramps. I have decided that the day I go to Japan I will drive down to a Wagyu farm with a few hundred crates of beer and sake, gather up the farm hands and their cattle in front of the TV and watch Arsenal play. Oh yes! If Arsenal are their usual self and win the game then we'll moo till the cows come home. Then again, if they did what they did last night I shall have a grand consolatory Wagyu feast. Its a win-win situation. Any other takers?

The early blog that is still looking for the blasted worm...

Good Morning...

And what a bright and shiny morning it is, one has to admit. Perfect weather for basketball or getting out for a jog. Yes well, unfortunately I haven't been able to capitalise on this sunshine despite setting an alarm for 5:30am. See, I went to bed with every intention to get up and hit the road running but somehow I woke up a little bewildered at around 9:15am. What happened in between is a little bit of a blur. Mom says that setting alarms (yes well, there are two with a 10minute interval) is a pointless exercise because I turn them off and go back to sleep. I shall politely disagree as I have maintained a regular early morning schedule over the past 6months. However, I am also willing admit that this is not the first time I have done this, so where lies the secret you may ask? Is there a way around my gift of shuttingringingalarmclocks&goingbacktobeingdeadtotheworld. Also, as you can see my gift has the gift of thewindingappellative too although I'm not sure why I'm calling it a gift at all!

'Kukur-le goo khanu agade', as the Nepalis say, is roughly when I need to wake up. To do this I have to outfox myself for which preparations must be made the night before. This is done by strategically placing one of the two alarm clocks in a remote corner of the room and usually hidden. Here is how the system works -- Alarm Clock #1 is slipped between the pillow and pillowcase under my head. This goes off first and the effort involved in finding it and fishing it out is usually enough to half wake me up. Now the tricky part is Alarm Clock #2. As the days go by, my brain becomes adept at propping me up in a zombie-like fashion and making a zombie-line(which is preferable to a beeline in my case as it is a lot more squiggly and involves much groping for furniture that I might walk into with eyes shut) to where the alarm clock is kept. Mom, who is the only beneficiary of my elaborate alarm clock set-up, says I can switch it off with my eyes shut. Perhaps I should mention that Alarm Clock #2 is a little bit of a gizmo and shutting it takes some doing. Oh, but don't be fooled, she does not mean this as a compliment by any stretch of the imagination. For instance, it would be rather hard to dream of her at a party where everyone was big-upping their kids and her bringing it up...

Lady #1: My son is a fantastic pianist. He will be going to Vienna next month to work with Beethoven himself!

Lady #2: That may all be well, but my daughter paints beautifully. We will be going to the Sistine Chapel next month to see her latest masterpiece which, might I add, is right next to Michelangelo's God Creates Adam.

Mom : Tsk! Tsk! Simpletons! My son has accomplished things that your children can only dream of. He was born with the gift of shuttingringingalarmclocks&goingbacktobeingdeadtotheworld. Oh, but that is not all, he can turn 'em off with his eyes shut! *smirk*

*sounds of smashing cutlery followed by looks of shock and horror all round*

In the words of KKK, 'Not happening!'.

The road to salvation is a difficult and complicated one which involves hiding Alarm Clock #2 in thatplaceyou'dneverthinkofat5:30am. Unfortunately by day 3, Alarm Clock #2 is now in thatplaceyouthoughtyou'dneverthinkofat5:30ambutaremagnetticallydrawntosinazombieline. As you can see, the latter puts 'shuttingringingalarmclocks&goingbacktobeingdeadtotheworld' to shame not to mention Blogger itself (which explains why I had to go with the ultra small font size. Pfft!).

So the quest for new hiding places is a long and never ending one. There is of course, the other option -- not to mention, a more effective option -- but that involves the participation of The Elusive Begum Rukmini of Monohar Pukur Road, the co-founding member of The LE Ba.Ba. Players. However, despite sharing the curse(no, I would not call this a gift) of the expanding waistline, our joint early morning fitness regime has been hit by bad weather, annexation of the basketball court by the blasted Phys.Ed. dept, variable x** and waning levels of enthusiasm or general laziness (whichever decided to raise its big, fat head that day). Nevertheless, we have managed a session or two a week for the past two weeks but that is nothing compared to the 6 day regime of days gone by. Perhaps this is just a sticky patch one must get through and we’ll go back to our old schedule soon. If that happens then be afwraid, be wewy afwraid. Step aside for the new and improved Sand.Man and rukmini 2.0 - Now faster, stronger, leaner and badder than ever before! So here I sign off from a rather long blog that had originally been 'The early blog...' but will now have to make to with being the 'Noon blog'. Perhaps it could use an alarm clock or two. :P
Later.

** variable x could be anything from random quiz competions to early morning classes/tests to bandhs.

And it begins...

Yes. Its been a long time. A very long time. Almost two years, in fact. Why? Well, I'm not sure to be honest. At times there are things to be said and usually at those times you'd rather say them in person. But here I am after a long time, speaking to you -- to those of who might want to tune back in, those of you who walked out of the last performance before the curtains went down, those of you who were busy making out in front of the computer and accidentally clicked off to another page, those of you who refused to drop money into the hat after watching the whole show, those of you who bent over and picked money out of the hat after watching the whole show... Well, you get my drift. :)

This blog goes back a long way. I started this blog when I was in my undergrad years and it was one of the first few blogs that sprung up amongst the people of my department. While the rest of the JUDEan bloggers went into a blogging frenzy I couldn't quite understand what all the fuss was about. In fact, it got to a point where we managed to lose our classmate to her blog. Yes, blog updates became the most important thing in her life -- more important than classes, college, friends and general socialising in the flesh. Well, perhaps it filled some sort of void in her life that some of us never understood, but thankfully, she is now a semi-retired blogger and has moved on to bigger and better things -- like a Phd abroad. Nonetheless, I have to admit her blog was quite entertaining at times, moreover, there were some other very good blogs in JUDE and I'm sure there will be more added to the pantheon of JUDEan blogs.

So what will this blog be about? Why Ants Marching? Are you going to flood the world with football? Why use a picture of Kikuchiyo? Will there be a hat to pick money from?

Well, let me tackles those questions one at a time. Firstly, I don't quite know. I guess I will go with the flow. Secondly, because the song has relevence within the society I live in and I guess it urges people like you to step outside your lifestyle and think about the things that are really important. Thirdly, yes and no. Hehe! Fourthly, its more Kurosawa's Mifune characters than Kikuchiyo. And lastly, yes. If you can find it. Muse upon it, I will be back. I'm hoping. ;-)

Until later then.